读后续写中学生喜欢用“对话”,但是“何时用?如何用?写多少?”小编重点从对话标签的位置,常见问题及写“对话”的四个小技巧这三方面阐述。
写“对话”应该注意下面几点:
1)对话必须要为推动故事情节发展服务,每段出现一两句即可;
2)对话必须要为反映人物的心理与情感,刻画人物的性格服务;
3)对话不宜过长,侧重口语化词汇,避开生僻词汇;
4)对话要尽可能结合动作描写,明确对谁说,具有画面感;
5)对话中要学会使用几个感叹词,表示说话人的喜、怒、哀、乐等情绪。
一、对话标签(dialogue tag)的三个位置
她说,“我想和你一起去,但我还没有完成家庭作业。”这句话用英语,从句式结构的角度来看,怎么表达呢?特别是对话标签she said的位置变化。
1. 对话标签在前
She said,“I would like to go with you, but I haven’t finished my homework.”
2. 对话标签在后
“I would like to go with you, but I haven’t finished my homework.”She said.
这两句是最常见的形式,大家写出来,应该问题不大。我们来看第三种形式。
3. 对话标签在句子中间
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“I would like to go with you,”she said, “but I haven’t finished my homework.”注意:对话标签在后或者在句子中间时(第2,3种情况),如果主语是名词,则可以倒装。而代词不可以倒装,said she是错误的。
“I would like to go with you, but I haven’t finished my homework.”said Emily(或者Emily said.)
“I would like to go with you,”said Emily/ Emily said, “but I haven’t finished my homework.”
二、读后续写中写“对话”的常见问题
1. 废话连篇,对情节发展和刻画人物性格没有帮助。
“Hey, how are you?” “I’m fine, how are you?”
“How is the weather?” “Terrific! Nice day for a walk, isn’t it?”
这样的对话在现实生活中很真实,但是故事小说毕竟是艺术加工,无助推动情节发展的,不能刻画人物性格的日常寒暄和偏离文章主线的对话绝对不用。
2.追求花哨,在对话标签后面加上不必要的动作描写或情感描写。
“That is fantastic news,” he said happily.
此句中完全没有必要加上一个happily来表达说的方式,因为句中的fantastic一词足以说明说话人了表情,过度强调会让读者的注意力集中在“说话的方式”而不是“说话的内容”。
建议改为:“That is fantastic news!” he said/screamed/exclaimed. 一个感叹号和一个fantastic已经足以让读者想象当时的情景。适当的“艺术留白”也是需要的,这样会留给读者想象的空间。
有时,为了避免过度使用dialogue tags,写对话时运用“动作描写”,尤其是表情上动作来取而代之。
如:Her eyes reflected the candlelight as she smiled at her son. “Everyone is unique. Just follow your heart and be yourself!”当她对儿子微笑时,她的眼睛反射着烛光。“每个人都是独一无二的。只要跟随你的心,做你自己!”(这句话就没有用dialogue tag,而是通过表情取而代之)
3、错误使用对话标签
"I can't believe it," Emma gasped. (gasp意思为“喘气”)
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"That's funny," Henry chuckled. (chuckled.意思为“轻笑”)
这里把动作描写和对话标签混淆了,试想谁能“喘息或轻笑”出一句话?除非他或她有特异功能。
可以改为:"I can't believe it," Emma said with a gasp.
(对话标签Emma said+ with介词短语)
Emma gasped. "I can't believe it."
(动作描写+句号)
"I can't believe it." Emma gasped.
(对话句+动作描写,注意对话句式句号)
"That's funny!" Henry chuckled.
(感叹句结束+动作描写)
"That's funny," Henry said, chuckling.
(dialogue tag+ 分词做伴随状况)
4、重复使用“said”或相同意义的副词,让阅卷人觉得词汇匮乏。 只会tell 不会show。
“How can you do this?”she said angrily,looking at me furiously.
此句也是貌似“高大上”,使用了两个意义相近的副词,并且套用了分词做伴随的句型。过度堆砌辞藻会让人生厌,过度使用副词也会让阅卷老师觉得你乏味。
积累相关的said 的词汇来避免过度使用said,比如:
愤怒时说可以用:shouted, yelled, barked, warned etc.;羡慕地说admired;安慰地说comforted;激动地说可以用: shouted, yelled, exclaimed etc.;坚定地说 declared;坚持说insisted;命令说 commanded;警告说warned etc. 高兴地说可以用:smiled, screamed, cheered, laughed et.;悲伤地说可以用: cried, mumbled, sobbed, sighed etc.;嘲笑说sneered;责备说scolded;要求说demanded;威胁说 threatened;开玩笑地说: teased, joked;笑着说可以用:laughed, giggled, roared etc.;继续说: continued;强调说emphasized;回忆说remembered, recalled;最后说/总结说concluded。
三、写“对话”的四个小技巧
在对话标签中加入语气,嗓音,情感让你的描写更生动传神。
①第一种:加语气。
基本结构为:in a/an+形容词firm坚定的/rude粗鲁的/sad悲伤的+tone。也可以用 in a tone of +名词的搭配。如:in a tone of surprise用一种惊讶的语气、in a tone of curiosity用一种好奇的语气、in a tone of impatience用一种不耐烦的语气、in a tone of command用一种命令的语气
“I would love to,” said Emily in a pleasant tone.
“我很乐意这样做,”艾米丽用一种愉快的语气说。
② 第二种:加嗓音。
基本结构是:in a/an+形容词+voice,如:in a high /low / sweet/loud/soft /weak voice 用一个高/低/甜/响亮/软/弱的声音
“I didn’t mean to,” she murmured in a low voice.
“我不是故意的,”她低声说。
③第三种:加情感。
基本结构是:with +情感名词。如with excitement (伴随着)激动。
“I...I.. don’t think I’m right for the part,”I replied with embarrassment.
“我...我..认为我不适合这个角色,”我尴尬地回答。
④加副词
“I will never do that again,” I answered firmly.
“我再也不会那样做了,”我坚定地回答。
这句话也可以这么写:可将副词提到句首。Firmly,I answered,“I will never do that again.
来源:高考英语
编辑:小林